A moment 

He was holding her so close as if she was the whole world to him. It was this moment he had realized that no matter how beautiful life was, it was meaningless and incomplete without her.In that very moment he was thinking how hard the past one year was.He was holding her soo closed to his heart that he thought he will lose her if he losend up even a little.

He was so lost in his thoughts when he heard her whisper… I can’t breath. There in her eyes lied his whole world, his prayers were answered and his life seemed completel but he wasn’t sure did she loved him the same as he loved her? This question was going to change his life and all he had to do is wait a few more hours…

She looked into his eyes and felt the warmth of his love. She knew it right away that this was the guy who could kill and get killed for but no!!! It was her that wanted to die of shame, misery and embarrassment. She had cheated the only person who had loved her truely for who she was.

Thus i waited…

and I felt as tornadoes

were awakening in my mind

and…

I couldn’t do a thing about it.

All I could do then was wait

for the rain to stop

and the winds to calm down.

Thus i waited….

for my heart to pound

one last time…

I waited…

 

How To Write Like Joan Didion

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The Key to writing like Joan Didion is to combine detailed, thorough description with a hint of biting irony. This primer is for both fiction writers and journalists who are struggling to make their work more interesting. Luckily, Didion can elevate the mundane and deflate illusions of grandeur, all in one essay. For this article, I will be using examples from her collected nonfiction, We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live.

Joan Didion was born in Sacramento, California in 1934, and has written many works of fiction and nonfiction the chronicle life in the state. She looked at the insanity of Haight-Ashbury in the 1960s, the rise of militant subcultures like the Black Panther Party and the Manson “family, as well as the intersection of bureaucracy, rebellion and politics. In her later years, her work has become far more personal, with books like The Year of Magical Thinking detailing the…

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Contradictions that I see

The world wants us to be creative, independent, craving for new things, discover new horizons, chase our dreams yet chains us down with laws, conventions and morality. Things, people, the world, all of it is quite confusing and contradictory for me.
Our mind knows no limits but is bound to remain within certain conducts that are approved by the society at a certain point; if so then why is our mind created limitless?
May be I am being too critical about conventions but has anyone ever wondered about being without laws and codes of conduct?

Yes, mostly the logic given for importance of conventions is that back in the stone age when we humans were without laws and conventions; we were  barbarics, killing each other. But who is witness to this and what logic or evidence do they have for it? Are some paintings on the walls (presented by archeologist ) a good enough evidence to mark us humans as beasts? Because we do see our kids running around the corridors and drawing on the walls. May be we were compassionate, loving, caring beings then too. Aren’t we ‘social animals’ who cannot survive without each other?

I may be completely wrong but the idea is worth a thought as, after all, it is a common cliché that “laws are meant to be broken”.  If that is true, then what was the point of making laws at all?

The freak inside is my love…

Dressed in black
This wholesome freak
Walking above my head
by my side, below my feet
Chasing my around.
This hideous brute,
a deformed freak
is an unfullfilled desire .

Desire, to love and be loved
To hold and be held,
To sing and be sung
Us, to be the melody of love.

My prayers, my tears
My waking nights
My wild desires
Is you only you, My love.

میری دُنیا

میری دُنیا،
جہاں میں بستی ہوں
وہاں سب کچھ اچھا اچھا ہے
حساّس ہے سب انسان وہاں کے
وہاں اِِحساس کا بول بالا ہے
نہ جھوٹ بولا جاتا ہے
نہ دھوکا دیا جاتا ہے
وہاں سچ کا راج چلتا ہے
وہاں خوب سچے ہو جاتے ہیں
اور حقیقت میٹھی لگتی ہے

کیوں آوں میں تیری دُنیا میں؟
یہاں خون خرابہ, دھوکا فریب, جھوٹ ہے سب
یہاں اِحساس کا خون کرتے ہیں
اور
پیار کے نام پہ لُٹیرے ہیں
یہاں راج ہے تو بس پیسے کا
یہاں حوس بھی ننگا پھرتا ہے
معصوموں کو لوٹا جاتا ہے
یہاں ظالم کا بول بالا ہے
احساس سے عاری یہ دُنیا
بڑی ڈراونی مجھ کو لگتی ہے
تم پاگل کہو تو پاگل ہوں
میں بے لوث محبت کرتی ہوں
اس دُنیا سے کوئی غرض نہیں،
بس اپنے دل کی سُنتی ہوں
جہاں میں بستی ہوں،
وہ دُنیا مثالی ہے
جہاں میں بستی ہوں،
وہ دُنیا خیالی ہے…..

Lost

I feel so deep and dark inside.
So deep that i often lose
my way back to the light.

Would you be my guide,
to hold my hand
and guide me to the light.

would you be the beacon,
lighted for me, to be guided to
when i am lost in the fury sea?

When the world means nothing to me;
would you be the dream I’d want to live,
the fact around which my world would revolve?

A Fill in the Gap

Its hard to forgive and its even harder to forget but sometimes moving on is the only choice they have left you with. People do take advantage of your feelings, they do treat you as if you are just another book on the shelf they read when they have nothing else to do. Its up to you either to let them treat you that way or move on.

May be what you thought was destined to be yours; isn’t so. May be you choose wrong or may be you got carried away, but may be or might be doesn’t help. Keep it in mind that those who care for you never let you wonder. They are their to hold your hand and comfort you, assure you that you mean the world to them. Your life is too precious to be wasted wondering where others want to place you or wether they have included you in their plans or not. You yourself have to decide what you want for yourself. Afterall its your life .

Its hard to leave but sometimes that’s the only way out of it. No matter how sincere you are how caring you’ll be they won’t hold on to you, they won’t care; for you mean nothing to them except another “fill in the gap”.

It’s Dark But There’s Light

Entrapped in a box
No lights,no air
And no one to hear
But I scream for I see the light

The world, a trap
My body, the captive
My soul entrapped
I fight and fight and fight

My wandering sight,
Inspecting hands,
and chained feet
Yet, a will still alive to fight

All in despair, all in pain
All in misery, where all is vain
Yet they live without complain

My soul, too bright to be darkened
My body too strong to be broken
I, a free spirit will fly away one day
To leave your box and trap behind

While I Wait For That Day

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You know that moment when you get tired of being alive. That moment when you feel as if you are a lab rat encaged that eats, drinks, sleep and keeps on running in the hamster wheel. Sometimes you do not see any purpose for why are you even alive, what is the purpose of being in this world, because you do nothing new or purposeful. You just wake up, eat, drink, pray, talk, watch, sleep et. al each and every day without any substantial change and you wonder; what’s the point… And keep on wondering, you see nothing.

What should we do at such moments, I personally do not know, and I suppose most of us do not know. Majority of us does not even think this way. It is a serious issue for me because it drives me crazy to be living a purposeless life. I sometimes feel lost somewhere, while traveling through life. May be I have taken some wrong turn that is why I do not see or find what I am suppose to be doing because life is never sitting and waiting for your goal to come to you rather it is the other way around.

We feel alone only when we do not know what we are suppose to be doing. No matter how happy you get, how busy you are with friends and family; you do not feel it in your heart for you are ignorant of what you are suppose to be doing and at that moment you feel anxious, uneasy as if you are wasting your time but then you realize you don’t have anything to do, you do not have a purpose.

So I feel that one should always find something he can set as his first step towards his purpose or at-least work on it until he finds what his purpose is. It does not have to be grand like saving humanity or anything like it. You can always start from a negligible point. Something that might not be significant but something that gives you the first step. Remember that sometimes the world is like dark cave all you need is a streak of light to follow, a streak that guides you towards the light. That streak may not lead you to the source of light but it would get you out of the dark. So my dears never lose hope or give up. There is always a bright day awaiting at the end of each dark night.